Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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