i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
