You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
