I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You made out with two different species that night
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
