my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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