My hand turned me down
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
