this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
