eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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