its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
