you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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