Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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