I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
