I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
