oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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