end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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