The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
