Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
