I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
