I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
