i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
