we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
