It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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