Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
