He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
