We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
