Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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