the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
