Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
