So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
