It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
