Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
