I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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