just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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