i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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