Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
so much tequila, so little girl.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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