I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
