I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize