I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
