This girl is more easily done than said...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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