oh god the rape fog is back!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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