I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
