maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
