made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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