I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
