That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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