when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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