We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
is wine microwaveable?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
