A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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