never play flip cup with pint glasses
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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