Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
