Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
