this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
